conscious optimism vs lazy pseudo
Diva. Arrogant. Too emotional. Insensitive. Changeable. In a hurry. When Maranda Pleasant, Founder + Editor of Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine asked me all the names I’ve been called on my way to where I am/who I am…well that was easy to recall. I’ve also been called Flakey. Too poetic. And as if it was going to lead to the downfall of humanity, I’ve been called Romantic and Idealistic. Gasp.
Unfortunately, I was not surprised at how many other women in this magazine feature have been called Too Emotional. It reminded me of a time when my first company was going up in flames. One of the investor dudes told me, “You know Danielle, you shouldn’t be too emotional about this. It’s business.” Hunh. “First of all, this is not what ‘too emotional’ looks like,” I said to him. Because I could have shown him ‘too emotional’ and thrown some coffee pots, or cried uncontrollably, or e-blasted some people’s dirty little secrets to the entire database. That woulda been too emotional. I took a deep breath and said, “You know, maybe if I’d been more ‘emotional’ this shit wouldn’t be going down.”
And by that I meant…maybe if I’d been more in touch with my heart, with my body cues, with my feelings — I would have played it very differently. I would have — and this seems to be the universal learning/regret — I would have spoke the fuck up a lot sooner. Instead, I muffled my own agency to play along. Because I didn’t want to appear, you know, too emotional. And it blew up.
Of course mental instability can present itself with wild mood swings and extreme emotionality. We’re not talking about instability here — we’re talking about strength. I should also mention that feelings and emotions are different things. That’s a conversation that I get into in The Desire Map.
What’s important for the topic of women being mislabeled and put down, put out, put off is to know that strong feelings from women are often labelled in a